(Building Success Habits) Making Failure Work for You - Donna Kunde & Londina Cruz

Londina Cruz & Donna Kunde - “Building Success Habits - Self Image Mastery”

PROFIT RADIO..."Grow With Us"

Introduction
"I failed my way to success."-- Thomas Edison

The human body has signals in the form of physical symptoms and syndromes. The failure type personality also has its own symptoms. We need to recognize these failure symptoms in ourselves so we can do something about them. Noone is immune to these negative feelings and attitudes. It is important to recognize them for what they are and take positive actions to correct the course. 

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Objectives - The WHY 
We need to be aware of negatives so that we can steer clear of them. They are important indicators that show up when we are off track. Glance at negatives but focus on positives. Negative feedback will act as an automatic warning device to help us avoid failure and guide us to success. 

Key Issues - Owner Perspective:

1. You have both a success mechanism and a failure mechanism
   
2. Learn how to make your failure mechanism work for you not against you
   
3. Set practical goals vs. perfectionistic goals
   
4. Glance at failure but focus on success
   

What You Need to Know - The WHAT

1. F - Frustration, Hopelessness, Futility: Chronic frustration happens when we set unrealistic goals or the image we have of ourselves is inadequate or both by inserting the word “should” in those areas of our lives.
   
2. A - Aggressiveness (misdirected): Excessive and misdirected aggressiveness follows frustration and forms a cycle. Aggressiveness is necessary to reach a goal. The problem comes when we are blocked or frustrated in achieving our goal. The emotions then seek an outlet and can become a misdirected or destructive force. 
   
3. I - Insecurity: The feeling of insecurity is based on a belief of inner inadequacy or not “measuring up.” It can show up when a person compares themselves to others or adopts a “good enough” attitude because there is no incentive to do better. The insecure person feels they “should” be, do and have more and end up “shoulding” all over themselves. Life is a journey. Be mindful of the “shoulds” of life and stay focused on achieving growth and goals. 
   
4. L - Loneliness (lack of “oneness”): Loneliness is a way of self protection. It is a way to protect our idealized self against exposure, hurt, and humiliation. The lonely person is afraid of other people. Loneliness is the automatic failure mechanism at work. 
   
5. U - Uncertainty: Uncertainty is a way of avoiding mistakes and responsibilities. The misguided thought is that if no decision is made, nothing can go wrong. 
   
6. R - Resentment: Resentment is an attempt to make our own failure not so bad by explaining it in terms of unfair treatment or injustice. It is a deadly poison to the spirit, making happiness impossible. The wasted energy could be used for accomplishing your goal. Resentment is caused by your own emotional response. You have the power and can control it if you choose to. If you harbor resentment is it literally impossible to picture yourself as a self reliant, independent, self determined person who is “the captain of his soul, the master of his fate.”
   
7. E - Emptiness: Emptiness comes to the person who has lost the ability to enjoy life. No amount of wealth or success can replace the capacity to enjoy. Enjoy the little things along the journey to make the goal that much better. 
   

What You Need to Do​​ - The HOW

1. F - Frustration as a way of solving problems does not work. Thoughts and feelings go together. How would you feel if you succeeded? Start feeling that way now. 
   
2. A - Frustration and aggression form a cycle. Don’t lash out blindly. Misdirected aggression is an attempt to hit one target by lashing out at any target. It doesn’t work. Use aggression towards the accomplishment of a worthwhile goal. The way to use aggression is to learn to understand it and then provide appropriate channels for its expression. The best channel for using aggression is to put it to work achieving a goal. 
   
3. I - Since we are all goal striving individuals, overcome insecurities by activating your goal striving mechanism in the pursuit of a worthy goal. Keep working to be better and moving towards something greater than yourself. 
   
4. L - Regardless of how you feel, force yourself to meet new people. It might be difficult at first but stay with it. 
   
5. U - What is the worst thing that can happen? Nobody is right all the time. Consider your best options and then choose one. Another way to overcome uncertainty is to realize the role that self esteem plays in indecisiveness. Make a decision and if it does not turn out as planned, learn from it and move on. 
   
6. R - You set and achieve your own goals. Nobody owes you anything. You are responsible for your own success and happiness. 
   
7. E - Emptiness is a symptom that you are not living creatively. You either have no goal that is important enough or you are not using your talents and efforts to reach a worthy goal. The failure mechanism is self perpetuating unless we break the cycle. 
   

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