Earn the Ask with Angela Chaney - Season 4 Recap

 
Earn the Ask with Angela Chaney Episode 12: Season 4 Recap 
 
 
 
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Introduction‌ ‌
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Thank you for joining me for Episode 11! Today we’ll be talking about The Platinum Rule, how it’s different than the Golden Rule, and how you can best use it to increase connection and elevate success. 
 
My Social Media Links
 
Please connect with me and say hi! It’s my goal to give plenty of value (deposits!) via my social media channels and I’d love for you all to be a part of my groups.
 
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/angela-chaney-a401ba7/
Twitter: @AngelaChaney33
Facebook: Angela Chaney-Engagement Equity
Private Engagement Equity Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/405529950468135
 
Book Suggestions from The Season 
 
Engagement Equity: Earn the Ask by Angela Chaney    
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain 
Please Understand Me: Character & Temperament Types by David Kiersey and Marilyn Bates
Please Understand Me II by David Kiersey and Marilyn Bates
Mars and Venus Together Forever: Relationship Skills for Lasting Love by John Gray
The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace: Empowering Organizations by Encouraging People by Gary Chapman and Paul White 
Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell  
The Midnight Library by Matt Haig 
The Thank You Economy by Gary Vaynerchuk
Give and Take by Adam Grant 
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love by Amir Levine
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are by Carlin Flora 
The Friendship Crisis: Finding, Making, and Keeping Friends When You’re Not a Kid Anymore by Marla Paul 
The Necessity of Strangers: The Intriguing Truth About Insight, Innovation, and Success by Alan Gregerman 
Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone by Brene Brown
To Sell is Human by Daniel Pink
Ask for More: 10 Questions to Negotiate Anything by Alexandra Carter
Dear Edward by Ann Napolitano 
The House on Pooh Corner by A.A. Milne
Team of Rivals by Doris Kearns Goodwin
Curious: The Desire to Know and Why Your Future Depends On It by Ian Leslie 
A Curious Mind: The Secret to a Bigger Life by Brian Grazer 
Ask for More: 10 Questions to Negotiate Anything by Alexandra Carter 
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson
The Customer Communication Formula by Charlotte Purvis 
Superconnector: Stop Networking and Start Building Business Relationships that Matter by Scott Gerber & Ryan Paugh 
Never Lose a Customer Again by Joey Coleman 
White Teeth by Zadie Smith
The Splendid and the Vile: A Saga of Churchill, Family, and Defiance During the Blitz by Erik Larsen 
Room by Emma Donoghue 
Get Out of Your Own Way: A Skeptic’s Guide to Growth and Fulfillment by Dave Hollis
To Sell is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others by Daniel Pink 
How to Stop Time by Matt Haig
Finding Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
Mindset by Carole S. Dweck
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman  
Stillness is the Key by Ryan Holiday 
 
The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien 
The Best Place to Work by Ron Friedman 
The Five Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace by Gary Chapman and Paul White
The Truth About Employee Engagement by Patrick Lencioni 
Mindset by Carole S. Dweck
All You Have to Do Is Ask: How to Master the Most Important Skill for Success by Wayne Baker 
Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon
Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life…and Maybe the World by William H. McRavern
Ask for More: 10 Questions to Negotiate Anything by Alexandra Carter 
Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success by Adam Grant
You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why it Matters by Kate Murphy 
Little Face by Sophie Hannah 
Work by Referral: Live the Good Life! Proven Strategies for Success and Happiness in the Real Estate Business by Brian Buffini and Joe Niego 
 
Never Split the Difference: Negotiate As If Your Life Depended On It by Chris Voss and Tahl Raz 
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie 
Killing Kennedy: The End of Camelot by Bill O’Reilly and Martin Dugard 
The Noticer: Sometimes, All a Person Needs is a Little Perspective by Andy Andrews
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Resource from this Episode
 
Revisionist History podcast 
 
Segment One: Episodes 1, 2,3 & 4
 
Episode 1
 
Segment 1: What is Engagement Equity & EE and Social Media 
 

1. EE in Personal Life 
   
2. EE in Social Media
   

• 80% of posts should give value
  
• 20% can be an ‘ask’ (through posts or through Facebook ad campaign)
  

 
Segment 2: Engagement Equity in the Office, Leadership & Networking Groups 
 

1. Takers, Matchers & Givers
   
2. A Paycheck is Not the Only Deposit a Leader Needs to Make
   
3. Networking: Random vs Recurring
   

• How to make deposits in each
  
• What happens when tit for tat develops in a group
  
• What happens when EE develops in a group
  

 
Segment 3: Radiate Outward; Listening & Sharing 
 

1. To Be Strong for Others, You Have to Be Strong For Yourself
   
2. How to Radiate Outward:
   

• Take time for yourself
  
• Know yourself
  
• Have boundaries and deal-breakers
  
• Put the inner circles before the outer
  

1. Why Listening is Critical 
   
2. How to Share Appropriately 
   

 
 
Segment 4: Power Players: 
 

1. Curiosity: Be Interested to be Interesting
   
2. The Platinum Rule: Treat Others the Way THEY Want to be Treated
   
3. Follow Through: Think Before You Commit and Do What You Say You Will
   
4. The Ask: When You Don’t Ask For What You’ve Earned, Your Deposits are Devalued
   
5. Closing the Account: When Relationships Take Time or Attention Away From More Inner Circles and Become a Burden
   

 
Episode 2
 
Segment 1: Why It’s Important to Identify Your Target Market  
 

1. When You Market to Everyone, You Market to No One  
   
2. Your Customers Want to Feel Like Individuals
   
3. You Need to Know Your Target to Hone Your Message
   
4. You Can More Easily Be Flexible When You Have a Target Market
   

 
Segment 2: Power Players: Curiosity and Listening 
 

1. Curiosity is the Key to an Interesting and Engaged Life
   

• Ask questions and listen to the answers.
  
• When you are curious, you learn more and retain information better.
  
• Your target audience will tell you exactly what to do if you ask the right questions.
  
• To be more curious, hang out with other curious people, be open to change and the unexpected, and read outside your comfort zone.
  

1. Listening –TRULY listening—is the Best Way to Connect
   

• Many think they are good listeners but most people feel others don’t listen to them.
  
• What we really do when we appear to be listening.
  
• There is no curiosity without listening and vice versa.
  
• When you listen, you become interesting by being interested.
  

 
Segment 3: Using Curiosity and Listening to Identify Your Target Market and Hone Your Message
 

1. Using Curiosity
   

• Ask questions to identify target (social media, in your networking circles, do research, send out surveys, etc.)
  
• Once you get answers, ask more questions
  

1. Using Listening
   

• You can’t be curious without listening.
  
• Give space.
  
• Pause.
  
• Listen to the right people.
  

 
 
Segment 4: How to Continue to be Flexible and Enhance Your Market and Message
 

1. Don’t get married to one target.
   
2. Keep listening and keep being curious to see how your target or their needs are changing.
   
3. As your product or service grows, your target may change.
   
4. Never stop listening or being curious.
   

 
Episode 3
 
Segment 1: Introduction to Charlotte and the 3-F Formula
 

1. Charlotte’s background
   
2. How Charlotte developed the book 
   
3. How the formula gives value to customers
   

 
Segment 2: More Specifics about Charlotte’s Book 
 

1. What is the 3-F Formula?
   
2. What are the 3 Cs of a conversation?
   

 
Segment 3: The 3-F Formula and Power Players
 

1. What Power Players does 3-F use?
   
2. What are some new power players Charlotte has identified?
   

 
Segment 4: The 3-F Formula and Empathy
 

1. How empathy has been lost in customer service
   
2. How the 3-F brings empathy back
   
3. Why empathy is important in customer service 
   

 
Episode 4: Build a Strong Network with Engagement Equity 
 
Segment 1: Being a Superconnector 
 

1. Building a network is about connecting others
   
2. 80/20 rule in building your network
   
3. 9 takeaways from Superconnector 
   

 
Segment 2: Using Curiosity and Listening to Build a Network 
 

1. Using Curiosity to Build a Network
   
2. Using Listening to Build a Network
   
3. The more you’re interested in others, the more interesting you’ll be to them (and the more they will want to help you)
   

 
Segment 3: Using the Platinum Rule and Follow-Thru to Build a Network
 

1. What is the Platinum Rule and why is it different from the Golden Rule?
   
2. Platinum Rule and Golden Rule in Recurring vs Random networking opportunities.
   
3. Using Follow-Through to Build a Network
   
4. Common reasons why we don’t follow through 
   

 
Segment 4: Top Tips on Using EE to Build a Strong Network 
 

1. Designate certain days or times for relationship-building
   
2. Straddle several industries to set yourself apart
   
3. Combine business and pleasure…but with boundaries
   
4. Know when to close the account
   
5. Identify those who need you the most
   
6. Have the right mentality (learner vs teacher, helper vs salesperson)
   
7. Don’t take things personally
   
8. Realize everything is connected
   

 
Episode 5: Engagement Equity and Team Building 
 
Segment 1: Why Team Building is Important and What it Means to You
 

1. You are only as strong as your team.
   
2. Identifying who is on your team.
   
3. Why building a strong team is crucial.
   
4. What do you want your team to look like? 
   

 
Segment 2: Building a Strong Team From the Beginning 
 

1. Hiring the right team members.
   
2. Identifying who your team members are and what they want during onboarding.
   
3. Using the Platinum Rule 
   

 
Segment 3: Team Building for Veteran Members of Your Team 
 

1. Using listening and curiosity. 
   
2. Identifying motivators (raises, time off, quality time with leaders.)
   
3. Using sharing effectively to build trust.
   
4. Knowing when to let go (and how to do so gracefully).
   

 
Segment 4: Top Tips on Using EE to Strengthen Your Team  
 

1. Identify what matters most to each team member.
   
2. Walk the walk. 
   
3. Schedule regular activities outside of work.
   
4. Use the meeting diagram to identify members being overlooked.
   
5. Never let takers or the loudest voices dominate your environment.
   
6. Have open office hours. 
   
7. Be a strong leader who pays attention to your own needs.
   
8. Realize everything is connected
   

 
Episode 6: Radiate Outward by Knowing Thyself 
 
Segment 1: The Concept of Radiating Outward and How Knowing Yourself is Never Over
 

1. Radiating outward starts will filling your own circle.
   
2. Never stop knowing—it’s dangerous to think you’ll ever truly know yourself.
   
3. Mindset and knowing yourself. 
   

 
 
Segment 2: Knowing Your Personality
 

1. Introvert vs Extrovert
   
2. Feminine vs Masculine
   
3. Love Language
   
4. Personality Type  
   

 
Segment 3: How to Use Knowing Yourself to Radiate Outward 
 

1. Set up your environment for success.
   
2. Help others get to know you: sharing.
   
3. Know what you need and give it to yourself instead of seeking it from others.
   
4. Use knowing yourself to know others. 
   

 
Segment 4: Top Tips on Knowing Yourself to Radiate Outward
 

1. Take time to be still. 
   
2. Know what calms you.
   
3. Identify one or two good sounding boards.
   
4. View everything as data.
   
5. Journal.
   
6. Don’t let knowing thyself lead to judging others.
   
7. Know when it’s time for a break.
   
8. Develop relationships with others who strive to know themselves.
   
9. Understand the concept of present and future self.
   

 
Episode 7: Be Engaged to be Successful 
 
 
 
Segment 1: What Does “Being Engaged” Mean?
 

1. Employee Engagement is the emotional commitment the employee has to the organization and its goals.
   

--Using discretionary effort
 

1. It’s not the same for every employee or every leader.
   
2. The Ten Cs of Employee Engagement 
   

 
 
Segment 2: Being Engaged as a Leader 
 

1. Curiosity about your product, service, and clients 
   
2. Curiosity about and willingness to listen to your team
   
3. Enthusiasm and willing to work alongside your team
   
4. Response to feedback and flexibility
   

 
Segment 3: Engaging Your Team 
 

1. Promote flexibility and embrace failure (from The Best Place to Work)
   
2. Promote positive emotions (from The Best Places to Work)
   
3. Three underlying factors will make a job miserable: anonymity, irrelevance, and immeasurement (from The Truth About Employee Engagement)
   
4. Hire the right people whose values and goals match up with yours
   

 
Segment 4: Top Tips on Being Engaged 
 

1. Establish an atmosphere of play.
   
2. Eliminate barriers and encourage connection.
   
3. Create an environment your team loves to come to.
   
4. Block out talk time in your schedule.
   
5. Take care of your stuff before coming into the office.
   
6. Use the Platinum Rule.
   
7. Offer the perks that matter to your team.
   
8. Put a focus on the givers.
   
9. Recognize effort, not just achievement 
   

 
Episode 8: Craft the Ask 
 
Segment 1: What is “The Ask” and Why is It Important?
 

1. The Ask is making a withdrawal from your account. 
   
2. Giving and Receiving profiles from All You Have to Do is Ask 
   
3. Why asking is hard
   

 
 
Segment 2: Timing and Size of the Ask  
 

1. You have to know the person and when the best time to ask is
   
2. The Ask has to match the equity
   
3. Stairstep principle
   

 
 
Segment 3: What Happens When Your Ask is Rejected?
 

1. Don’t take it personally
   
2. Review the ask
   
3. Decide if you can ask questions
   
4. Determine the why
   
5. Use it to become better
   
6. Don’t dwell on it
   
7. Focus on the next deposit
   
8. Know when to follow up and ask again
   

 
 
Segment 4: Top Tips on Making the Ask 
 

1. Don’t apologize for asking 
   
2. Be explicit
   
3. Don’t ask large groups
   
4. Be you
   
5. Have a Plan B
   
6. Have a sounding board 
   
7. Land the plane
   
8. Make it in their best interest 
   
9. Be high energy
   
10. Don’t let this be the end of the relationship 
    

 
Episode 9: Give to Succeed 
 
Segment 1: Why Does it Pay to Be a Giver?
 

1. Givers make the best leaders because they have the ability to create a psychologically safe climate where everyone feels they can contribute (G&T)
   
2. Giving feels good
   
3. Giving reduces stress (no more worry about what’s in it for me?)
   
4. The difference between a giver and a doormat
   
5. Givers develop a reputation and others want to give to them
   

 
Segment 2: Giving of Your Time and Knowledge
 

1. In the office (as a leader)
   
2. Outside the office (as a mentor/speaker)
   
3. How to encourage knowledge sharing 
   

 
 
Segment 3: Giving of Your Energy, Skills, Ideas, and Interactions with Others 
 

1. The importance of radiating outward
   
2. Know what energizes you so you can share it
   
3. Volunteering 
   
4. How to be giving in your interactions with others 
   

 
 
Segment 4: Top Tips on Giving to Succeed 
 

1. Do Five-Minute Favors
   
2. Understand everyone needs something different
   
3. Reserve time for giving
   
4. Realize everything is connected
   
5. Be emotionally available
   
6. Find out who is not being listened to in the office
   
7. Use thank you sincerely
   

 
Episode 10: Interview with Chris Bober 
 
Segment 1: Chris’s Time in the NFL 
 

1. From undrafted to Super Bowl champ.
   
2. Lessons learned as an NFL player.
   
3. Deciding to retire. 
   

 
 
Segment 2: Making the Transition to Business 
 

1. Why Chris chose real estate.
   
2. How being a professional athlete prepared him for entrepreneurship.
   
3. How he built his career. 
   

 
 
Segment 3: Giving Value 
 

1. How Chris gives value to the community.
   
2. How Chris gives value to his prospects and networking partners.
   
3. How Chris gives value to his clients. 
   

 
 
Segment 4: Resources and Favorites 
 

1. Favorite book(s).
   

 
Never Split the Difference: Negotiate As If Your Life Depended On It by Chris Voss and Tahl Raz 
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie 
Killing Kennedy: The End of Camelot by Bill O’Reilly and Martin Dugard 
The Noticer: Sometimes, All a Person Needs is a Little Perspective by Andy Andrews
 
 

1. Favorite networking tips.
   
2. Favorite entrepreneurial resourced.
   
3. Favorite quotes.
   
4. How Chris sets himself apart from his competition.
   

 
Episode 11: The Platinum Rule 
 
Segment 1: The Difference Between the Golden and Platinum Rule
 

1. What is the Golden Rule?
   
2. How is the Platinum Rule different?
   
3. Who can you use the Platinum rule with?
   
4. When to revert to the Golden Rule 
   
5. Why using the Platinum Rule deepens relationships and increases success
   

 
Segment 2: Knowing Thyself and Others: The Key to the Platinum Rule
 

1. Introverts vs Extroverts
   
2. Men vs Women
   
3. Personality traits
   
4. Love languages/language of appreciation
   

 
 
Segment 3: Using Platinum Rule in the Office 
 

1. Learn as much as you can during onboarding
   
2. Have regular 1-1s and listen
   
3. Create a flexible environment where employees can be themselves
   
4. Show your team you know yourself—lead by example
   

 
 
Segment 4: Using Platinum Rule with Customers and Networking Partners 
 

1. Find a way to have conversations with your customers (social media, in person, etc.)
   
2. Don’t treat all customers or clients the same (how and how often they like contact, etc)
   
3. Educate your team on who your clients are (individually or persona)
   
4. Be present in your networking groups
   
5. Schedule 1-1s to get to know networking partners better
   
6. Block out extra time before/after meetings 
   
7. Teach others what you know 
   

 
 
Shows‌ ‌
 
Previous:‌ ‌‌Episode‌ ‌11: The Platinum Rule 
 
Next:‌ ‌‌Episode‌ 1 of Season 5  
 
Written‌ ‌by‌ ‌Angela Chaney
 
Want to learn more about me or Pixel Fire Marketing, my online marketing agency based in Omaha, NE? Visit PixelFireMarketing.com or follow us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or LinkedIn! I would also love for you to connect with me on LinkedIn. Shoot me a request and mention you listened to my show. 
 
Listen to my podcast of all past shows wherever you listen to your other favorite podcasts! Please listen, rate, and subscribe. 

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